Five Reasons NOT To Join A Choir.

 Do you want to join a choir? It seems perfectly innocent- a simple bit of group singing that lots of people do across the world.

 STOP HERE!

 Before you know it, this treacherous choir singing hobby will change the rest of your life and catch you unaware. It’ll mess with your life in many ways that you never imagined and possess your whole being- so be pre-warned!

 Here is a quick guide to why you shouldn’t join a choir.
 

 1) Singing Will Distract You.

 Sat down at your desk and hoping to get on with the job in hand that pays the bills? Nope.

 That wonderful new song that you learned at choir is going around and around your head. In circles. Repeating circles. An ear worm. Do you know how hard it is not to hum it out loud as your busy brain is trying to process the bits you want to get better at. Don't want to let your musical director choir leader down?

 Much more interesting than sending another email…

 Hang on a mo. What about your boss, colleagues and customers?

 It’s work time and you have things to do. Head down and crack on peeps.

2) No One Wants To Listen To You Talking About It.

 It’s true. Choir is overwhelming exciting to those who sing in your choir and watching your loved ones or favourite group at an occasional chorus concert is fabulous.

 However, a big BUT is coming…

 Be informed. It’s boring to outsiders.

 They will listen for a short while. Singers are very unique with something to talk about in small talk circles.

 Yet once the listener has told you about Auntie Betty who sings in a choir up north in a distant city for at least 100 years, or how they were asked to shut up their school choir. Therefore nowadays they have self certified they “cannot sing”- so they will eventually make excuses to change the conversation or leave.

 Take heed. Sharing too much of more than a little taste of the passion stirring inside you is enough for non choir converts to handle on the first outing.

 Do not push it to anyone who hasn’t said “I’d love to join your choir” within the first three minutes.

 Don’t be a choir bore. 

3) Your Voice Might Not Always Sound Pretty.

 Too true. You don’t have to be a great singer to join a choir, that’s why we have weekly rehearsals to get better as we are far from perfect. Even the best singers are imperfect. That’s  human.

 Normal average singers are rockstars. It’s the collective sound that matters and makes the choir sound amazing.

 You won’t get it right first time or multiple times later either. It’s sucks. The truth is that No one does. That’s why we practice. Then one day. You will.

 Another frustrating about the whole “average singer” thingy- is your friends will think that you must be a “good singer” because you are in a choir.

 If you don’t want to sing a solo- You never have to EVER!

 In particular, be ultra careful at karaoke nights as your friends may volunteer you to sing a turn on a random Abba Song without you knowing- just because you sing in a choir! ;-).

 Just sooooo embarrassing when you aren’t a willing wannabe soloist.
 

 4) The Hidden Dangers of Choir Socials.

 My experience is that they often involve delicious cake, eating out during/after gigs and late nights in pubs after rehearsals. In simple bullet point fashion, may experience these symptoms:-

• Not get enough sleep because of the weekly late nights.
• Enjoy the Lemon Drizzle and Chocolate Fudge Cake a little too much.
• Get withdrawal symptoms when you realise that everyone else is taking a night off occasionally.
• Think that singing in a restaurant/pub is normal behaviour.
• You ask for paper straws in the pub and then use it to sing with your other crazy choir mates into your drinks (that’s another Blog entirely!).

Nothing more said.
 

5) It’s Ruddy Hard Work And Takes Time.

 Apparently choir is incredibly fun yet hard work for those who have been taken to the dark side of choir life. It takes over their mind and enriches their life beyond compare- or so they say!

 However, it takes time, commitment and sacrifices.

 Learning your part and memorising lyrics to the best of your ability can consume your brain unless you are a superhero! And if you are a talented superhero already, even you have to learn to harness the mega powers and turn them to the common good of group singing!

 Choir singing is a team game and we all need to play in harmony.

 That’s why we practice together taking small steps at a time eh?!

 You will get better, but it won’t be without a lot of effort.

 And maybe a large glass or two at the choir social will help. Simple.

So I Don’t Want To Join A Choir- You’ve Persuaded Me! Now What Do I Do?

 Please Share this post via your socials with your friends far and wide so they don’t join a choir either.

Then scroll on nicely and kindly. Joining a choir is a personal choice and isn't being inflicted on you.
 

So Maybe I Want Some Of This Choir Thingy- And Work It Out For Myself?

 Firstly, share this post so others can make their own mind up.
 

Then Do This. NOW.

• Just turn up 7.30pm on Thursdays at Glenfrome Primary School, Cottisford Rd, Eastville, Bristol.
• Click here to get in touch with Avon Harmony A Cappella Chorus via email. 
• Phone/Text 07954 170432

 Avon Harmony A Cappella
 
 We are a perfectly imperfect group of Bristol women who sing A Cappella and they will happily enjoy your company, trying to sing as well as we can.

 We will hold your hand carefully with a lot of love through this terrible trauma of becoming a choir singer.

Gotcha.